Crush
by Just Being Who I Am
Summary: I watch you every time I could. My eyes find you no matter where you are. One day, you looked sad and I wanted to see you smile. So I decided to make it my mission to see you smile again. End of that week, I realized something: You're not just a crush. Highschool A/U.
1. Crush

**A/N: Hello everyone :) I just couldn't get over this idea in my head, that's why it's here now.**

 **And you guys can listen to this song when they sing:** w w w. youtube watch?v=6J1-eYBbspA

 **I only found the song when I was writing this story and the song sounded amazing and I am immediately in love with the song :)**

 **Enjoy!  
**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the 100.  
Warning: Proofread, hopefully there are no more mistakes.**

 **Crush**

She wasn't popular, but she wasn't unnoticeable either. I mean, if she was, I wouldn't have ever seen her. She is an art student, at least that's what I think she is because she always has a sketchbook in her arms and I often see her sitting on the bleachers by the football field drawing, sometimes she draws in the school garden too. Her eyes shine when she draws. I have never seen her drawing, but I would expect them to be vibrant. Anyone who draws with eyes like hers would be.

I am not a stalker, at least I wouldn't consider myself one. However much my dearest friend, Anya would choose to insist. I just watch her… when my eyes happen to find her. I do not look out for her especially. Ok, I do, but that's not the point.

What is the point then, one may wonder. I don't know, all I am ever certain of was when the first time my eyes caught hers, she has the bluest eyes I have ever seen, the most golden hair any person could possess. I thought I also almost see white wings behind her, but that was probably from my imagination, she looks beautiful, I would imagine an angel would look just like her… or maybe she would surpass the beauty of even an angel. From that day onwards, my eyes would always find her, often times she would feel my stares and catch my eyes. After those few times, I had decided to get more distance from her. So that's why I am here now, on the second floor of the business students' building, leaning on the railings of the corridor, watching her talking to her two female friends that are always around her.

I know that she has a boyfriend, I don't like him. Then again, I guess it would make sense that I don't like him. He's the guy who my crush likes after all. I never even knew that I like the more feminine species until I found her. Anya was surprised too after she found too many times of me staring at the pretty blonde.

I don't even know her name, I don't even know what her favourite food, I don't even know HER. Some may say that I am shallow for just liking a pretty face. But she is not just a pretty face to me. She is my angel, she is my sunshine, she is my everything. This might come out creepy, but since then I've been watching her, even if I had never even uttered a word to her, I picked up from her chosen food, her expressions and posture. Who she likes or dislikes. What she likes to eat compared to what she doesn't although I do not know which order they come in. As in, I know she likes lasagna, I know she likes milk tea, but which does she like better? I don't know her favourite show, cause there is no way to find out by just watching her. I know she likes music, she has headphones on when she draws, I just don't know what sort of music she likes.

I know I am sounding more and more creepy each second, but I still have to reassert that I am not a stalker. I would rather call myself a besotted admirer. I mean, how could one not just LOOK at her? She is… divine.

Today though, today she looks sad… I have not figured out why. I could see her friends trying to console her. By the end of the day, I still haven't figured it out.

But in a few days' time, I finally find the differences in her routine, she no longer drew pictures on the bleachers, her boyfriend no longer hung around her. They broke up, that's why she's sad.

I don't like watching her being sad. I don't know how to cheer her up either.

"Still watching her, you creep?"

"I'm not, ok?"

"What are you watching then?"

"I'm not watching anything, I was just thinking."

"Thinking while looking in her direction, ok, sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night, I guess."

"Shut up, Anya."

I am NOT creepy! I was honestly thinking!

Just… watching her while thinking of ways to make her smile again. Because her smile is what I look forward to each day. Each day I see her smile, my day was worth living. But these past few days, she hadn't smiled at all. Well, she did if you didn't know her well enough, she had been faking her smiles these days.

That is when I see it, I look up to the sky and see a balloon floating away. It was as if a light bulb lit up inside my head. I have an idea! But I just don't know how to go about it. I need information, the most crucial one- her name. I did some research around to find it. Ok, scratch that, I did some snooping and gossiping around to find out her name: Clarke.

The next day, she walks into school unsuspecting and I was hiding in my classroom. Why, you ask? Because I had prepared something for her, something very close to where I usually stay to watch her. I wanted to see her reaction but I knew I couldn't so that's why I'm hiding. But it was ok, because I have a sidekick! Not really, she would kill me if she heard me say that. Anya is going to be loitering around the business students' building so that she could help me watch her reaction and tell me about it. At least I was hoping that she would actually tell me in intimate details, I knew she wouldn't but one can hope.

I hide in the classroom until classes start, I go about my day as normal. Except that during the middle of a class that I know Clarke would be far away that she won't be anywhere near my building, I sneak outside, informing the professor that I had to use the toilet. I sneak out to remove the giant floating balloons in front of my building. Each balloon is a letter, together they spell: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, CLARKE.

I remove them efficiently and quickly and pop them all, I have them in the bins in record time and then sneak back into class.

During lunch that day, I ask Anya about her reaction.

"She was surprised and her cheeks turned red."

"Is it because of embarrassment, shyness or what?"

"How would I know? I'm not the one who's always watching her."

I knew I couldn't have trusted Anya enough for this but she is my friend and I needed her help. Never again, maybe.

I see her from an unusual perch, because I knew she would look at the business students' building where I usually stand to see that the balloons are gone. I couldn't tell how she felt about the balloons, so I can only hope that it was good reaction.

The next day, I prepared another thing to surprise her, hoping that it could make her smile.

I had snooped around again to find out a few things. I came into school early this morning to go to her locker. It's not illegal, I picked her lock and placed a lunch box and travel mug in there with a note. I know she buys cafeteria food every Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday, I know she wouldn't bring lunch with her. That's why it was prefect.

The note I gave her was printed from the computer, why? Because if I had to write it myself, not that I think she would. But what if one day she tracked out my writing style and compared it with the note? I will not risk it, so it's printed. That doesn't mean it's worth any less. It wrote: Have a great day with lasagna and milk tea, Clarke.

I stand at my usual perch today to see her, I did not see her reaction when she opened her locker but at least I could see if she would eat the lunch I prepared for her. And she did, so I was happy.

Wednesday:

I had a grand gesture on Monday, a little surprise on Tuesday. So today it's back to grand gesture. I'm not trying to boast or anything, but I have to tell you, I am rich. My family is practically loaded with gold. So when I want to spend money, I could spend as much as I would like to. I think my parents are just grateful that I did not turn out to waste a lot of money and actually a good kid.

Anyhow, I stand at my usual perch again, waiting for her to arrive at the spot. She will be here in 2 more minutes, but just in case, she's running late, I would not set it off yet.

And there she comes, half a minute early but it was ok, I take out my walkie-talkie.

"Omega, it's a go. Over."

"Copy, over."

Then it happens, a few planes flew up across the sky and wrote the words: Clarke, you are an angel.

That is when I realise that she will see it, and she will think to look in my direction. So before it happens, I run for cover. I don't know if I made it out undetected but I ran and that was the point. Sadly again, I did not see her reaction.

But it was ok, I had another friend doing the cover for me. Hopefully, this friend would be more trustworthy. I would find out later that I am once again proved wrong.

Lunch that day, I find Indra.

"So, how did she react?"

"Surprised."

"And?"

"And then."

"WHAT?!"

"Fin."

"You have got to be kidding me, Indra!"

"No."

"My friends are all so! UGHHH!" I want to say useless, but I know they're not. I want to say untrustworthy but I don't. I just walk away, hoping that Clarke had a good reaction to the planes.

Thursday:

Another small surprise day. I don't want to be repetitive, so I did not prepare another meal.

Instead I prepared a poem and broke into her locker to put it there again.

I don't know how she feels about that but that's ok.

Friday:

Another big gesture day.

I pulled a lot of strings and dumped a lot of cash on this. I can just hope she would like it.

I called over a famous band that I heard through the vines that Clarke is a big fan of, let's hope my intel was correct. A stage had been set up overnight in the field. There is a big fuss at the field, many students wondering what the stage on the football field was for. Of course, I knew Clarke would be dragged along to look at the stage by her friends. When she reaches the field, I was already waiting on the bleachers with many others.

The stage curtain opens then, revealing the band: Princess Commander. I don't really know what her favourite songs were so I had them sing all their hit songs.

This time, I see her reaction, she is elated at seeing her favourite band singing on a stage in her high school. She is immediately pulled along by her friends to get good seats.

Oh I forgot to mention, I bribed the principal to not have classes today so the students can enjoy the show. The school loves donation anyway.

After all the songs were done, the lead singer, I don't even know her name and I don't care, announced that she would have someone go on the stage to sing a song with her.

Of course, Clarke's name was called, and the lead singer asks her what song she would like to sing. Clarke looks so happy, her whole face lights up my world and she chose the song: Crush.

When she sings with the lead singer, I could feel her voice through my body.

Even her voice sounded like an angel.

 _I hung up the phone tonight_ _  
_ _Something happened for the first time_ _  
_ _Deep inside it was a rush_ _  
_ _What a rush_

 _'Cause the possibility_ _  
_ _That you would ever feel the same way about me_ _  
_ _It's just too much_ _  
_ _Just too much_

 _Why do I keep running from the truth?_ _  
_ _All I ever think about is you_ _  
_ _You got me hypnotized_ _  
_ _So mesmerized_ _  
_ _And I've just got to know_

 _[Chorus:]_ _  
_ _Do you ever think_ _  
_ _When you're all alone_ _  
_ _All that we could be?_ _  
_ _Where this thing could go?_ _  
_ _Am I crazy or falling in love?_ _  
_ _Is it real or just another crush?_ _  
_ _Do you catch a breath_ _  
_ _When I look at you?_ _  
_ _Are you holding back_ _  
_ _Like the way you do?_ _  
_ _'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away_ _  
_ _But I know this crush ain't going away_ _  
_ _Going away_

 _Has it ever crossed your mind_ _  
_ _When we're hanging,_ _  
_ _Spending time, girl, are we just friends?_ _  
_ _Is there more? Is there more? (Is there more)_

 _See it's a chance we've gotta take_ _  
_ _'Cause I believe that we can make_ _  
_ _This into something that'll last_ _  
_ _Last forever, forever_

 _[Chorus]_

 _Why do I keep running from the truth? (why do I keep running?)_ _  
_ _All I ever think about is you (all I ever think about)_ _  
_ _You got me hypnotized (hypnotized)_ _  
_ _So mesmerized (mesmerized)_ _  
_ _And I've just got to know_

 _Do you ever think (ever think)_ _  
_ _When you're all alone (all alone)_ _  
_ _All that we could be,_ _  
_ _Where this thing could go (go)_ _  
_ _Am I crazy or falling in love, (crazy)_ _  
_ _Is this real or just another crush (another crush)_ _  
_ _Do you catch a breath,_ _  
_ _When I look at you,_ _  
_ _Are you holding back,_ _  
_ _Like the way I do,_ _  
_ _'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away,_ _  
_ _But I know this crush ain't going away ya ya ya yaaa_ _  
_ _(this crush ain't) going away ya ya ya yaaa_ _  
_ _(goin' away) going away ya ya ya yaaa_ _  
_ _(when you're all alone_ _  
_ _All that we could be,_ _  
_ _Where this thing could go)_ _  
_ _Going away ya ya ya yaaa_

My heart throbbed steadily with each words, I could feel every word pulsing in my veins. I wanted so much for her to look at me but I would never dream for it to happen. That's why I am watching from afar. I wouldn't say I am unattractive, I wouldn't say I am not good enough for her. I know that if she ever chose me, I would be more than good enough for her. I would do so much more for her than her ex-boyfriend could. I would pine over every words she says, I would jump over every hurdles to be standing by her side. I knew then, this isn't just a crush. I have already fallen in love with her even though I never really talked to her before. I know I want to know more about her. I want to talk to her. I want to try to be her friend, if nothing more.

Just, if I could hear her voice every day and see her smile directed at me instead of watching from afar. I would throw away my name, my wealth, my family, my everything.

But after the whole impromptu concert, Clarke had a photo with them, signed and all. I just sat there, watching and unmoving. I want so much from her yet I would never say a thing. Everyone was gone and I still sat there all alone.

I don't know how long I have remained there but suddenly someone sat beside me, I knew it is Anya so I did not speak. Anya has always been a silent companion when I needed her.

"She looked happy this time," She says to me only after a while.

"Yeah…"

"You don't look as happy," It is a statement but it comes out like a question too.

"I really want to know her, as a person, Anya," I turn to look at her with desperation in my eyes.

"Then go for it, what are you still waiting for?"

"I am scared."

"Of what? Rejection? I thought you were stronger than that."

I feel my hairs stand up at the challenge, "I am, but that doesn't mean I can't be afraid of the one thing that I want most in life."

"Her?"

"And love."

We sit there in silence til the sun sets and we finally move to go back to our respective homes.

Monday:

I do not stand at my usual perch, I stand in the field, at the spot that I always see her at and wait. I know she will be here soon, I start to fidget with my hands nervously.

Then, I hear it, the voice I first heard last Friday, laughing with other voices. I look up at her just as she turns to look at me.

I swallow my nerves and walk towards her, "Hi."

She gives me a look, maybe wondering why I was talking to her, "Hey."

"I… I have noticed you for a while and I really want to be your friend," After I finished, I bite my bottom lip.

When she doesn't say anything, I look up to see her grinning at me, I couldn't help my responding smile.

"Sure, I would love to be your friend, I am-"

"Clarke, I know."

She looks just a little surprised, as do her friends, "Yes, that's me and these are my friends, Raven and Octavia."

"Pleasure's all mine, ladies. I am Lexa."

She reached her hand out to me. I hesitated but finally shook her hand. That was the first time we touched, and I could feel the sparks going from my fingers to my spine and then everywhere in my body. I knew then, this is the girl. The one, my other half. Clarke.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading, now I can finally get back to my other story with this thing out of my system :)**


	2. Mini story: Valentine's

**Disclaimer & Warning: Don't own a thing. I love Ariana Grande's voice, but otherwise this entire story is made-up.**

 **Crush**

 **Mini Story for Valentine**

I have been friends with Clarke for a while now, Anya and Indra have started to hang out with Clarke and her gang. It was like a merge of friend group, it didn't turn out well at first. Who am I kidding? It was a disaster of the century when we first started to hang out but that's a story for another day. We're all good now, and I think Anya had actually started liking someone…

The story today is about me, Valentine and my crush.

To be very honest, Anya called me a chicken sh** for being such a coward but it's not as easy as it sounds, you know? To just what? Ask my new friend, Clarke, would you be my Valentine? Maybe it is that easy, but rejection is a scary thing. I was born in a rich family, as you all know, that also translate to that I have never actually been rejected anything before. So rejection is a very alienated term for me.

So once again, I am going to hide and do little surprises and maybe a few grand gestures to show Clarke that I really like her, without actually coming out and say it to her myself. She won't even know who would be behind those gestures. She could make guesses and that's her choice.

I had actually asked before about the grand gestures she had received, she told me that at first she thought it was her ex-boyfriend trying to apologize to her and get back together with her. Although she also reassured me that she had no intention to get back together with her ex, he was the jerk of the century, apparently. Which I already knew, of course. He never deserved her. But after a few more surprises, she was sure that her ex did not do it, because… well, she didn't think he would or actually have the money to do what the admirer did and also the admirer was a little too thoughtful to be him.

I was happy to hear it, it was then that I actually have any confirmation that she liked my surprises. From then on, I tried to spend as much time as I could with her, without being creepy, clingy or anything like that. I pined over every word she ever told me, I remembered every single dislikes and likes she let me know. I was always chivalrous.

Oh wait, sorry, we're not here to talk about how foolishly head over heels in love I am with her. Right, this is about Valentine's Day, which is today. I have spent so much time planning for this, now all I can do is wait and see the fruit of my hard work.

So, Valentine morning, I had been sure that no one had asked Clarke to be their Valentine. Well, actually there were a few brave souls and even her ex-boyfriend asked but she rejected all of them. Yikes, rejection…

I waited for Clarke at the school gate and walked with her to her locker. When she opened it, she was flooded with love letters from dozens of students who had slipped them into her locker. I clenched my jaw and helped her pick up the love letters, I did not realise that my surprise would be hindered by so many love letters. Then again, I should have known, Clarke is incredibly attractive. After I handed her all the letters, she took them and threw all of them into the bin. I was almost surprised, but I kept my face neutral. At that moment, I was just relieved that I had not written a love letter.

After that, she went back to her locker and in there, was a lunch box, a thermos with a note attached and a box of chocolate. Of course they were from the sincerest me. Her eyebrow twitched slightly as she picked out the note. I did not need to see it to know what was written there: 'Clarke, Happy Valentine's Day. I prepared these for you, hoping that you would not have packed your lunch today. I hope you like them.' She had a small secretive smile on her face and her eyes lit up.

I know this is extremely outrageous but I actually felt a surge of jealousy rush through my veins. I had been the one to prepare it and it had made Clarke smile but she didn't know that it was me…

I asked her curiously, "Is this the secret admirer?"

"Yeah," She looked at me, with sparkles in her eyes still.

"This person is always so thoughtful and I woke up late this morning and didn't manage to pack my lunch. Somehow my alarm did not go off," She explained. I could feel myself brimming with pride, patting myself on the back for a job well done. I had gone over to Clarke's house yesterday to study and when she left to bring us some snacks, I had messed with her alarm to go off late.

"Huh… wow, this admirer seems to know you very well," I commented as she peeked into the lunch box and saw all her favourite food inside. She put it back and unscrewed the thermos cap to find her favourite soup and then the chocolate was an expensive branded chocolate. I had thought of making my own chocolate for her, but I soon found out that I had no talent for making chocolate thus I just ordered them online.

"I believe so, yes. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I know this admirer…" She rubbed her chin with her hand, in her usual pondering look. This wasn't the first time I had done all these sweet surprises for her since I first talked to her.

I gulped nervously but inaudibly, "Or this admirer is just way too clever."

"Maybe…" She flashed me a bright secretive smile as if she knew something I didn't before she slammed her locker door shut and we went to class. I was almost afraid that she knew I was the one… but no, that wasn't possible, I had always been careful and left no evidence that could be led back to me.

During lunch time, she ate the food I prepared for her. She moaned in appreciation of the savoury food. Trying to be as discreet as possible, I asked her, "Clarke, do you mind if I have a piece of your chocolate? I know it's from your admirer, but I love that chocolate."

She smiled cheekily at me and took out the expensive chocolate I gave her. I chose the piece just right of the center piece and ate it. It was really delicious. Clarke stared at me as I ate my piece, she had a sort of unreadable expression on her face. I would have started sweating if I was one of those people who sweat easily. Then, just as suddenly, she smiled a little at me and took the center piece. She bit into it and something was buried in the middle.

She quirked an eyebrow and took it off as she devoured the rest of the chocolate. It was a tiny capsule, she opened it to reveal six tickets to a concert of one of her favourite bands for tonight.

"Oh my god…" She covered her mouth in surprise.

"What's that, Clarke?" I acted out my most curious look, Octavia and Raven peeked over Clarke's shoulder to see what she was holding.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me? Are those premium tickets to Ariana Grande's concert for tonight?" Octavia screeched, being a huge fan herself.

"And there are six of them too," Raven gasped.

"Your admirer is really something, Clarke," Octavia chimed in again.

"It looks like we can all go together," Anya gave me a surreptitious glance before she gave a bright smile to Clarke.

That evening, I had my driver drive a limousine and picked up Clarke and all our friends to go to the concert.

We had front seats and extremely close to the stage. To be honest, I find the concert slightly fun since it was my first concert but also exceedingly boring. I sat through it because Clarke is a big fan of the singer.

When the concert was finally over, Clarke had gotten a picture of all of us with Ariana Grande and personally autographed. We walked out of the grand hall and when we were just about to get in the limousine. We heard explosions and bright flashes. We looked up to find fireworks, we all stopped, stood there and watched.

It was beautiful, I felt someone's hand brushed the back of mine. I did not need to see to know who it was. That soft skin belongs to her, my crush.

Finally, when it looked as if the fireworks display was almost over. Dozens of them blasted into the sky, with words written: 'Clarke, Happy Valentine's Day!"

I had been staring at Clarke's face for a while now, instead of the firework show. I could see her beaming smile and bright eyes as she saw the last fireworks written words. She finally met my eyes after, I felt her fingers interlacing with my own. I gulped loudly and worriedly, she could not have known, could she? She's looking at me like I have done something amazing for her. Then she leaned in… she gave me a soft chaste kiss on my lips.

I felt my entire body come alive, my face getting hotter. I was pretty sure the red reached my ears and neck. I gaped like a fish for a few moments when she finally spoke up, "Happy Valentine's Day, Lexa."

She then tugged me to get into the car with our friends.

 _Happy Valentine's Day, indeed._ I thought to myself at the end of the night.

 **A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, readers :)**


End file.
